Three Guys Walk Into A Bar

Here is the full list in order of (I think) appearance. We need to select the basics for the main list as a minimum, but if we want to keep more then ten, we can always make a “Top 10 Most Unusual Ways…” or “…Most Effective Ways to…” or something totally elsewise. Open to suggestions and more items to add to the list.

• feed it aqua dots (sp)
• Lulling it into a false sense of security
• Duct tape the donkey’s legs
• Get it to eat a lot of turkey
• Walk it up to the edge of a cliff
• Bring it to a Mexican border town
• Punch it in the gut and face until she does what you say
• Tie it to a lawn chair in an “easy access” pose
• Gang up on it in an ally
• Make it review spreadsheets until it is so numb, it can’t feel your violating it.
• Make the donkey a fruity cocktail and mix in some date rape drugs
• Tell it you’re going to play the game “just the tip”
• Invite it to a frat party
• Save the donkey’s life and tell her that she owes you one
• Convince it that you are a spiritual leader, that you know how to get to God, and that the donkey is a “special kind” of follower, that must have sex with you. (this really only counts as rape if the donkey is underage. Otherwise, the donkey is just stupid)
• Slap it in a stockade
• Sneak up on it in a two-man suit
• If you dress it up as a rodeo clown, it’ll be a lot less traumatic
• mule prison?
• Hire it as a stripper for the Duke Lacrosse team
• Get it in an R. Kelly video
• Send it to Tijuana
• Barrow one of Micheal Vic’s rape posts
• create a profile for it on Onlinebootycall.com
• Shave it’s ass and send it to Borneo