Mar
Free money? Sweet!
Posted in Spam | No Comments »[Spam]
On Wed, Mar 25, 2009 at 12:01 PM, Mrs Joan Thomas <tuscoffice@rrbiznet.com> wrote:
You have been award for a grant prize of £950.000.00 GBP on the on going Global award 2009 Promo, for your prize contant Mr. Edmund Clive email: mr.edmundclive01@googlemail.com
Names:…………
Address:…………..
Country:……………..
Age:……….
Sex:…………..
Phone/cellphone……..
Regards,
Mrs Joan Thomas
———————————————–
[My reply]
Dear Mr. Edmund Clive,
Please to be sending all information pertaining to my money. You see, I am currently in dire straits and have resorted to turning tricks on the streets of Baltimore. My seventeen children are fed only by the meager offerings that the citizens can afford us here. This includes scraps of Subway sandwiches (“eat fresh”) and Dunkin’ Donuts doughnut “Munchkins.”
Please to be reading the following two paragraphs from one www.Wikipedia.org to understand my plight.
“Suffering, or pain,[1] is an individual’s basic affective experience of unpleasantness and aversion associated with harm or threat of harm. Suffering may be qualified as physical,[2] or mental.[3] It may come in all degrees of intensity, from mild to intolerable. Factors of duration and frequency of occurrence usually compound that of intensity. In addition to such factors, people’s attitudes toward suffering may take into account how much it is, in their opinion, avoidable or unavoidable, useful or useless, deserved or undeserved.
All sentient beings suffer during their lives, in diverse manners, and often dramatically. As a result, many fields of human activity are concerned, from their own points of view, with some aspects of suffering. These aspects may include the nature of suffering, its processes, its origin and causes, its meaning and significance, its related personal, social, and cultural behaviors, its remedies, management, and uses.”
You see, I suffer from Avian Bone Syndrome wherein my bones are hollow and most to all contact with ANY surface bruises me easily. Eating is a double-edged sword. I suppose I am fortunate that I am only eating “Munchkins” for sustenance, then. Ha. Ha ha. I may have lost one of my eyes to diabetes and one leg to a faulty (read: explosive) man hole cover, but I certainly have not lost my sense of humor.
To be frank, that is all I have left. My seventeen scamps and a smile. Please send all relevant information to me at the same e-mail address that you sent the prior e-mail to. I would like to claim the £950.000.00 GBP that I have so bone-headedly left in Europe. (That’s the last time I give handjobs for crack in Birmingham! You would know if you’ve ever been! Ha. Ha ha.) I will be checking my iPhone–through which I acquired through very legal means, I assure you–intently, awaiting your reply.
God bless you, generous donor.
~ Mr. Stacey Gordon